{"id":1207,"date":"2023-05-18T15:55:03","date_gmt":"2023-05-18T13:55:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/adulthood.fr\/?p=1207"},"modified":"2023-07-28T16:20:10","modified_gmt":"2023-07-28T14:20:10","slug":"","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/grandisunpeu.fr\/en\/2023\/05\/18\/rahela\/","title":{"rendered":"JELENA","raw":"JELENA"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\u00a0<\/strong> <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Where are you from ?<\/strong> I am from Croatia. How old are you ?<\/strong> I am 21. What do you do in life ? What are your plans ? <\/strong>\u00a0At the moment I’m trying to sort my life out, trying to find a job and live my life the best I can. Why (and when) did you leave home ? <\/strong>I left my home when I was 20 years old because I always knew that I won\u2019t be happy in Croatia. I wanted to leave my country since I was 16. Life in Croatia is miserable and you don\u2019t have many options and even if you do, I think that leaving your country is a good thing because you are becoming mind open and you are getting more self confident in many ways. Where is your home now ?<\/strong> I can\u2019t give you an answer where my home is because wherever I am, I never feel like I\u2019m home. Maybe I have that feeling while I\u2019m with my friends but they can\u2019t be my home because they will have their own family and home eventually. I’m still on my seeking- for-home journey. What is your relationship with your parents’ house ?<\/strong> I’m at that house at the moment because I was forced to go back to Croatia, but I don\u2019t feel comfortable here. I just can\u2019t wait to leave this place because it just doesn\u2019t feel right. What does “being an adult” mean to you ?<\/strong> Being an adult means taking care of your responsibilities, making a career and going towards a good life. Trying to build a good life. Taking care of yourself in every possible way, just building and facing every challenge life is giving you. But most of the time your challenge is yourself which can be confusing and very difficult but whenever you are ready to confront yourself including your emotions and your actions, you are halfway there of being an adult. Do you feel like an adult ?<\/strong> I feel like an adult making some childish actions sometimes, I still didn\u2019t get enough life lessons but it\u2019s fine. I\u2019m still young. When did you first feel like an adult ?<\/strong> First time when I felt like an adult was when I did something for myself. I escaped from my routine life with a manipulative person and I stopped blaming myself for the past. Do you have confidence in yourself ?<\/strong> I have confidence in myself, but sometimes I just feel that I’m not good enough. Yeah, I went for that job interview but I won\u2019t get it. Yeah, I am with that guy, but he is just too good for me, it won\u2019t last. No, I am not self confident.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

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When is the moment when you feel fully accomplished ? <\/strong>I feel fully accomplished when I\u2019m around people that I love, when I am having a good time with them and when I can express my feelings towards them. When I lay in my bed at the end of the day and I know I have someone by my side no matter what. It is not about material, It\u2019s about real people. \u00a0In your country, is there pressure from society to be a successful adult after a certain age ? <\/strong>Of course there is. You have to be a successful adult from the very first moment you take your first breath, you already have to be successful. Have you ever gone on a trip alone for more than three months ? <\/strong>I never did and I never thought about it. Probably I would, just for the experience and just to prove myself what I\u2019m capable of. Do you feel you have matured to live by yourself away from your home, with a new language?<\/strong> Definitely did and I can\u2019t wait to continue my journey. At what age did you leave on your own for the first time ? How was this departure ? <\/strong>I left and lived on my own at the age of 21. It wasn\u2019t a good experience because I wasn\u2019t used to living alone, but now I miss it. Did traveling to another country, to new cities, help you grow up? <\/strong>It did. Why have you never gone on a trip ?<\/strong> Well, I went for a trip. For you, age is an important element to feel like an adult? <\/strong>Not at all. I don\u2019t want to put pressure on myself. Why would I? I\u2019m growing everyday anyway. It\u2019s the way I am. I can\u2019t change overnight. It takes loads of time. You can\u2019t become an adult just like that. For you, does the fact that you are a woman change the situation ? <\/strong>It depends on what situation. I mean, of course, if I want to drive a truck a man has advantage or if I am in the club I have advantage of getting free drinks. But it doesn\u2019t change my life. If I want something, I know I can get it no matter if I am a woman, man or it. Do you have a story – funny or not – to share about a situation where you said to yourself “Oh shit, that’s an adult thing I haven\u2019t done before” ? <\/strong>Yeah, my ex was fucking gay and I knew it deeply inside me but I was denying it for a long time and than one day I just left, in another country, without anyone around me, keeping everything as the biggest secret because I was ashamed and afraid what everyone else is going to say but than I realised it\u2019s not my fault. It\u2019s not me who should be ashamed, it\u2019s him. Then I was laughing about that with my fringe, family and strangers, because why not. <\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

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Don’t you feel that being in your twenties is pretty hard to live in our society? You have to be beautiful, know what you want to do with your life, then find a great job, a great guy, a great girl, be surrounded by people you love, have a great apartment, get married and start a family? Is this what becoming an adult is all about ? How do you feel now ? <\/strong>No, I don\u2019t care about everyone else, as long as I have enough money to go for a drinks with my friends or just go on unplanned trip I feel great, even if that\u2019s not how an adult should be thinking. But you only live once, why not to do that. I\u2019ll worry about my job, house and family when I will be matured enough. BUT IM NOT GETTING MARRIED, no matter what society thinks about that or even my mom. She got divorced, she has nothing to say about it. Was it easy for you to become an adult ? <\/strong>Oh my God, if I knew it was that hard I would send some signs to my mom to swallow me before I was made. But nevermind, I\u2019m here now. Can you say “no” without difficulties? <\/strong>That is even harder than becoming an adult. If it\u2019s someone that I care about, it is very difficult, but if it\u2019s someone who annoys me, no problemo amigo<\/em>.Are you independent, do you always need help ? <\/strong>Loving myself and trusting others. Thanks everyone for giving me the issues. When you’re young, you want to be an adult. Do you remember what attracted you to being a “grown-up” ? <\/strong>Having my own house, driving a car, traveling with friends without calling my mom at 11pm. if I\u2019m coming\u00a0 home. Is being an adult today what you imagined it to be ? <\/strong>Well, I had a similar idea. I didn\u2019t think it\u2019s that hard but I knew it\u2019s not easy. Is being an adult about accepting reality as it is, and stop dreaming ? <\/strong>No. Don\u2019t think you will become a millionaire overnight and live luxury life with no hard work (the chance is really small but possible), keep dreaming, you won\u2019t make everything happen, but most of the things it\u2019s possible. Do you feel like you can shape your life the way you want ? <\/strong>I don\u2019t feel, I know I can. For sociologist Susan Nieman, becoming an adult is not about having a job, paying your taxes and saving for your retirement, but about experiencing intellectual and creative emancipation. What do you think about that ? <\/strong>She has the point. But you still have to live somewhere and work so you can pay those taxes. Being an adult is being serious ? <\/strong>Don\u2019t be serious because you will ruin your life. Be serious only when it\u2019s necessary, occasionally. Self-mockery is important. Is it an adult thing ? <\/strong>Sometimes it\u2019s necessary so you can get mad at yourself and \u201cbouge ton cul\u201d. Great music, great book, great movie to share that has marked you so far ? <\/strong>The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck<\/em>, book written by Mark Manson. Anything else that Signifies\/reflects your life? <\/strong>Everything happens for a reason. Any advice for someone who is anxious with all these adult questions ? <\/strong>Don\u2019t be anxious, don\u2019t bother yourself with anxiety, that is not going to help. Just get back on your feet, make priorities and start sorting your life slowly but patiently . Are you happy ? <\/strong>I could be happier but I won\u2019t complain.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false,"raw":"\n

\u00a0<\/strong> <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Where are you from ?<\/strong> I am from Croatia. How old are you ?<\/strong> I am 21. What do you do in life ? What are your plans ? <\/strong>\u00a0At the moment I'm trying to sort my life out, trying to find a job and live my life the best I can. Why (and when) did you leave home ? <\/strong>I left my home when I was 20 years old because I always knew that I won\u2019t be happy in Croatia. I wanted to leave my country since I was 16. Life in Croatia is miserable and you don\u2019t have many options and even if you do, I think that leaving your country is a good thing because you are becoming mind open and you are getting more self confident in many ways. Where is your home now ?<\/strong> I can\u2019t give you an answer where my home is because wherever I am, I never feel like I\u2019m home. Maybe I have that feeling while I\u2019m with my friends but they can\u2019t be my home because they will have their own family and home eventually. I'm still on my seeking- for-home journey. What is your relationship with your parents' house ?<\/strong> I'm at that house at the moment because I was forced to go back to Croatia, but I don\u2019t feel comfortable here. I just can\u2019t wait to leave this place because it just doesn\u2019t feel right. What does \"being an adult\" mean to you ?<\/strong> Being an adult means taking care of your responsibilities, making a career and going towards a good life. Trying to build a good life. Taking care of yourself in every possible way, just building and facing every challenge life is giving you. But most of the time your challenge is yourself which can be confusing and very difficult but whenever you are ready to confront yourself including your emotions and your actions, you are halfway there of being an adult. Do you feel like an adult ?<\/strong> I feel like an adult making some childish actions sometimes, I still didn\u2019t get enough life lessons but it\u2019s fine. I\u2019m still young. When did you first feel like an adult ?<\/strong> First time when I felt like an adult was when I did something for myself. I escaped from my routine life with a manipulative person and I stopped blaming myself for the past. Do you have confidence in yourself ?<\/strong> I have confidence in myself, but sometimes I just feel that I'm not good enough. Yeah, I went for that job interview but I won\u2019t get it. Yeah, I am with that guy, but he is just too good for me, it won\u2019t last. No, I am not self confident.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

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When is the moment when you feel fully accomplished ? <\/strong>I feel fully accomplished when I\u2019m around people that I love, when I am having a good time with them and when I can express my feelings towards them. When I lay in my bed at the end of the day and I know I have someone by my side no matter what. It is not about material, It\u2019s about real people. \u00a0In your country, is there pressure from society to be a successful adult after a certain age ? <\/strong>Of course there is. You have to be a successful adult from the very first moment you take your first breath, you already have to be successful. Have you ever gone on a trip alone for more than three months ? <\/strong>I never did and I never thought about it. Probably I would, just for the experience and just to prove myself what I\u2019m capable of. Do you feel you have matured to live by yourself away from your home, with a new language?<\/strong> Definitely did and I can\u2019t wait to continue my journey. At what age did you leave on your own for the first time ? How was this departure ? <\/strong>I left and lived on my own at the age of 21. It wasn\u2019t a good experience because I wasn\u2019t used to living alone, but now I miss it. Did traveling to another country, to new cities, help you grow up? <\/strong>It did. Why have you never gone on a trip ?<\/strong> Well, I went for a trip. For you, age is an important element to feel like an adult? <\/strong>Not at all. I don\u2019t want to put pressure on myself. Why would I? I\u2019m growing everyday anyway. It\u2019s the way I am. I can\u2019t change overnight. It takes loads of time. You can\u2019t become an adult just like that. For you, does the fact that you are a woman change the situation ? <\/strong>It depends on what situation. I mean, of course, if I want to drive a truck a man has advantage or if I am in the club I have advantage of getting free drinks. But it doesn\u2019t change my life. If I want something, I know I can get it no matter if I am a woman, man or it. Do you have a story - funny or not - to share about a situation where you said to yourself \"Oh shit, that's an adult thing I haven\u2019t done before\" ? <\/strong>Yeah, my ex was fucking gay and I knew it deeply inside me but I was denying it for a long time and than one day I just left, in another country, without anyone around me, keeping everything as the biggest secret because I was ashamed and afraid what everyone else is going to say but than I realised it\u2019s not my fault. It\u2019s not me who should be ashamed, it\u2019s him. Then I was laughing about that with my fringe, family and strangers, because why not. <\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

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Don't you feel that being in your twenties is pretty hard to live in our society? You have to be beautiful, know what you want to do with your life, then find a great job, a great guy, a great girl, be surrounded by people you love, have a great apartment, get married and start a family? Is this what becoming an adult is all about ? How do you feel now ? <\/strong>No, I don\u2019t care about everyone else, as long as I have enough money to go for a drinks with my friends or just go on unplanned trip I feel great, even if that\u2019s not how an adult should be thinking. But you only live once, why not to do that. I\u2019ll worry about my job, house and family when I will be matured enough. BUT IM NOT GETTING MARRIED, no matter what society thinks about that or even my mom. She got divorced, she has nothing to say about it. Was it easy for you to become an adult ? <\/strong>Oh my God, if I knew it was that hard I would send some signs to my mom to swallow me before I was made. But nevermind, I\u2019m here now. Can you say \"no\" without difficulties? <\/strong>That is even harder than becoming an adult. If it\u2019s someone that I care about, it is very difficult, but if it\u2019s someone who annoys me, no problemo amigo<\/em>.Are you independent, do you always need help ? <\/strong>Loving myself and trusting others. Thanks everyone for giving me the issues. When you're young, you want to be an adult. Do you remember what attracted you to being a \"grown-up\" ? <\/strong>Having my own house, driving a car, traveling with friends without calling my mom at 11pm. if I\u2019m coming\u00a0 home. Is being an adult today what you imagined it to be ? <\/strong>Well, I had a similar idea. I didn\u2019t think it\u2019s that hard but I knew it\u2019s not easy. Is being an adult about accepting reality as it is, and stop dreaming ? <\/strong>No. Don\u2019t think you will become a millionaire overnight and live luxury life with no hard work (the chance is really small but possible), keep dreaming, you won\u2019t make everything happen, but most of the things it\u2019s possible. Do you feel like you can shape your life the way you want ? <\/strong>I don\u2019t feel, I know I can. For sociologist Susan Nieman, becoming an adult is not about having a job, paying your taxes and saving for your retirement, but about experiencing intellectual and creative emancipation. What do you think about that ? <\/strong>She has the point. But you still have to live somewhere and work so you can pay those taxes. Being an adult is being serious ? <\/strong>Don\u2019t be serious because you will ruin your life. Be serious only when it\u2019s necessary, occasionally. Self-mockery is important. Is it an adult thing ? <\/strong>Sometimes it\u2019s necessary so you can get mad at yourself and \u201cbouge ton cul\u201d. Great music, great book, great movie to share that has marked you so far ? <\/strong>The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck<\/em>, book written by Mark Manson. Anything else that Signifies\/reflects your life? <\/strong>Everything happens for a reason. Any advice for someone who is anxious with all these adult questions ? <\/strong>Don\u2019t be anxious, don\u2019t bother yourself with anxiety, that is not going to help. Just get back on your feet, make priorities and start sorting your life slowly but patiently . Are you happy ? <\/strong>I could be happier but I won\u2019t complain.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n"},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false,"raw":""},"author":2,"featured_media":1383,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_fr_post_content":"\n

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D'o\u00f9 tu viens ?<\/strong>Je viens de Roumanie. La Roumanie est un pays magnifique, situ\u00e9 au sud-est de l'Europe centrale, au nord de la p\u00e9ninsule balkanique et sur la rive nord-ouest de la mer Noire. Presque toute la surface du delta du Danube et la partie sud et centrale des Carpates se trouvent sur son territoire. Quel \u00e2ge as-tu ?<\/strong> J'ai 33 ans. Tu fais quoi dans la vie ? C\u2019est quoi tes projets ?<\/strong> J'ai toujours travaill\u00e9 dans le secteur de l'h\u00f4tellerie, mais je suis passionn\u00e9e par le secteur de la mode, les arrangements floraux et les p\u00e2tisseries. J'ai maintenant pour projet de suivre une \u00e9cole de p\u00e2tisserie reconnue au niveau international. Pourquoi (et quand) as-tu quitt\u00e9 ton pays ?<\/strong> Je suis partie pendant un mois parce que, bien que la Roumanie soit un pays merveilleux, le degr\u00e9 de corruption y est \u00e9lev\u00e9. Mon mari et moi avions un restaurant et, apr\u00e8s la pand\u00e9mie, toutes les taxes, les services publics et les loyers ont augment\u00e9 et les gens ne pouvaient plus se permettre de venir au restaurant. O\u00f9 te sens tu chez toi aujourd'hui ?<\/strong> Mon pays d'origine est toujours la Roumanie, mais \u00e0 l'avenir, lorsque nous aurons d\u00e9cid\u00e9 o\u00f9 nous nous installerons avec certitude, ce sera l\u00e0 notre chez nous. Quelle est ta relation avec ta famille ? <\/strong>J'ai grandi dans une famille nombreuse (j'ai 4 fr\u00e8res, 17, 16, 14 et 6 ans de plus que moi). Je suis un enfant tardif et toute l'attention \u00e9tait dirig\u00e9e vers moi. La relation avec ma famille est merveilleuse. J'ai eu la chance d'avoir une famille parfaite ! Que signifie pour toi \"\u00eatre adulte\" ? <\/strong>Pour moi, \u00eatre adulte signifie \u00eatre responsable dans tout ce que l'on fait et dit, \u00eatre capable de subvenir \u00e0 ses besoins, d'aider sa famille, d'\u00eatre s\u00e9rieux et juste au travail et dans la soci\u00e9t\u00e9. Te sens-tu adulte ?<\/strong> Oui, je me sens adulte avec des responsabilit\u00e9s, mais mon \u00e2me est encore celle d'un enfant. Je crois que si l'on perd son \u00e2me d'enfant, on est compl\u00e8tement perdu. Quand t\u2019es-tu sentie adulte pour la premi\u00e8re fois ?<\/strong> Il n'y a pas eu un moment o\u00f9 je me suis sentie adulte. Petit \u00e0 petit, au fil des ann\u00e9es, je suis devenue responsable de mes actes. On devient adulte avec le temps, pas tout d'un coup. Tu as confiance en toi ?<\/strong> Oui, j'ai confiance en moi, je sais tr\u00e8s bien ce que je suis capable de faire et je sais combien j'ai de talents cach\u00e9s. Il est vrai que j'ai parfois peur de faire des erreurs, mais c'est normal quand on demande beaucoup \u00e0 soi-m\u00eame. Quel a \u00e9t\u00e9\/est le moment o\u00f9 tu t\u2019es sentie pleinement accomplie ?<\/strong> Il y a eu plusieurs moments, mais l'un des moments o\u00f9 je me suis sentie pleinement accomplie, c'est lorsque j'ai rencontr\u00e9 mon mari actuel. J'ai senti qu'ensemble, nous pourrions tout faire. En Roumanie, la soci\u00e9t\u00e9 exerce-t-elle une pression pour que l'on devienne un adulte responsable apr\u00e8s un certain \u00e2ge ?<\/strong> Oui, d\u00e8s l'\u00e9cole primaire, on est \u00e9duqu\u00e9 \u00e0 devenir un adulte accompli, mais ma famille m'a appris \u00e0 \u00eatre d'abord une personne heureuse, puis \u00e0 devenir ce qui me rend heureuse. Il est tr\u00e8s important de savoir comment on est \u00e9duqu\u00e9 dans la famille, comme nous le disons en Roumanie, \u00ab d'avoir les 7 ans \u00e0 la maison \u00bb. Es-tu d\u00e9j\u00e0 partie seule en voyage pendant plus de trois mois ? <\/strong>Non, je ne suis jamais partie seule. Je n'aimerais pas aller quelque part seule. Si je crains quelque chose dans la vie, c'est la solitude. Mon confort mental est d'\u00eatre toujours en compagnie de quelqu'un de cher (famille, mari, amis). As-tu l'impression d'avoir m\u00fbri apr\u00e8s avoir quitt\u00e9 ton pays pour partir dans un nouveau pays, avec une nouvelle langue ?<\/strong> Non, comme je l'ai d\u00e9j\u00e0 dit, la maturit\u00e9 est venue progressivement, mais il est probable que si nous partions pour un autre pays \u00e0 l'\u00e2ge o\u00f9 l'on se forme en tant que personne, ce fait contribuerait \u00e0 la formation de la maturit\u00e9.Pour que ce sch\u00e9ma change, lorsque nous avons des enfants, nous devons les \u00e9duquer \u00e0 \u00eatre heureux. Oui, \u00e0 respecter ceux qui les entourent, mais pas \u00e0 devoir vivre leur vie comme le dicte la soci\u00e9t\u00e9.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

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A quel \u00e2ge es-tu partie seule pour la premi\u00e8re fois ? <\/strong>Je vis seule depuis l'\u00e2ge de 14 ans. Mes parents ont d\u00e9m\u00e9nag\u00e9 dans une maison pr\u00e8s de ma ville natale apr\u00e8s avoir pris leur retraite et je suis rest\u00e9e dans l'appartement o\u00f9 j'ai grandi parce que je suis entr\u00e9e au lyc\u00e9e et qu'il m'\u00e9tait difficile de faire la navette. Cela n'a pas \u00e9t\u00e9 difficile du tout, mais j'ai \u00e9t\u00e9 aid\u00e9e par le fait que j'ai commenc\u00e9 \u00e0 rendre des comptes plus t\u00f4t que les autres adolescents. Le fait de voyager dans un autre pays, dans de nouvelles villes, vous a-t-il aid\u00e9 \u00e0 grandir ? <\/strong>Oui, j'ai voyag\u00e9 dans de nombreux pays (pas autant que je l'aurais voulu) : voir d'autres civilisations, d'autres modes de vie, d'autres comportements, d'autres mentalit\u00e9s, m\u2019a aid\u00e9 dans mon d\u00e9veloppement personnel. Pour toi, l'\u00e2ge est un \u00e9l\u00e9ment important pour se sentir adulte ?<\/strong> Non, pour moi, l'\u00e2ge n'est qu'un chiffre et rien de plus. La vie doit \u00eatre v\u00e9cue avec intensit\u00e9 et vous ne devriez pas vous soucier de votre \u00e2ge. Pour toi, le fait d'\u00eatre un homme ou une femme change-t-il la situation ?<\/strong> Nous sommes en 2023 et il ne devrait plus y avoir de diff\u00e9rences de race ou de sexe, mais malheureusement, cela peut arriver et la base de ce probl\u00e8me n'est que l'\u00e9ducation et l'environnement dans lequel vous avez grandi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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J'ai perdu l'entretien pour le poste que j'occupais en Roumanie et j'ai \u00e9chou\u00e9 \u00e0 un examen \u00e0 l'universit\u00e9 parce que je suis une femme, mais je pense que le plus important est de savoir comment surmonter cela et ne pas se laisser affecter. Oui, je me souviens que j'avais 15 ans et que mon fr\u00e8re et ma s\u0153ur avaient deux enfants en bas \u00e2ge (3,2 mois) et que je devais m'occuper d'eux pendant quelques heures. Quand mon fr\u00e8re et ma s\u0153ur sont partis, les enfants dormaient, l'un d'eux s'est mis \u00e0 pleurer, j'ai essay\u00e9 de le calmer. Puis l'autre s'est mis \u00e0 pleurer, je ne savais pas comment me partager parce qu'ils pleuraient tous les deux et puis je me suis dit \u00ab \u00e7a suffit, je suis un enfant et cette responsabilit\u00e9 est trop grande pour moi \u00bb. J'ai commenc\u00e9 \u00e0 pleurer moi aussi, avec eux, tous \u00e0 l'unisson ! N'avez-vous pas l'impression qu'il est assez difficile de vivre dans la vingtaine dans notre soci\u00e9t\u00e9 ?<\/strong> Il faut \u00eatre belle, savoir ce que l'on veut faire de sa vie, puis trouver le bon job, le bon gars, la bonne fille, \u00eatre entour\u00e9e, avoir le bon appartement, se marier et fonder une famille ? C'est \u00e7a, devenir adulte ?<\/strong> Comment tu te sens maintenant ? <\/strong>Non, pour moi, \u00e0 cet \u00e2ge, ce n'est pas \u00e7a \u00eatre adulte... Il faut penser \u00e0 \u00eatre heureux, il ne faut pas s'int\u00e9resser \u00e0 la pression de la soci\u00e9t\u00e9, la soci\u00e9t\u00e9 d'aujourd'hui veut que vous soyez un robot, elle veut que vous respectiez certains sch\u00e9mas. Je n'ai jamais \u00e9t\u00e9 int\u00e9ress\u00e9e par les mod\u00e8les, j'\u00e9tais int\u00e9ress\u00e9e par le fait de tout faire pour mon bonheur. A-t-il \u00e9t\u00e9 facile pour vous de devenir adulte ?<\/strong> Oui, il y a sans doute eu des situations o\u00f9 j'ai d\u00fb me d\u00e9brouiller seule et o\u00f9 je me suis sentie un peu d\u00e9pass\u00e9e, mais avec le soutien de mon partenaire, j'ai surmont\u00e9 ces situations. <\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

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Peux-tu dire \"non\" sans difficult\u00e9 ?<\/strong> Non, il m'est parfois difficile de dire non, je suis tr\u00e8s empathique et j'aime aider les gens autour de moi, mais s'ils sont dans des situations d\u00e9favorables, je dis non cat\u00e9goriquement. Y a-t-il un domaine sp\u00e9cifique dans<\/strong> lequel tu es bloqu\u00e9e, tu n\u2019es pas ind\u00e9pendante, tu as toujours besoin d'aide ? <\/strong>Je suis ind\u00e9pendante \u00e0 100 %. Quand on est jeune, on veut \u00eatre adulte. Tu te souviens de ce qui t\u2019a attir\u00e9 dans la vie d'adulte ?<\/strong> Oui, je me souviens que lorsque j'\u00e9tais jeune et que j'\u00e9tais \u00e0 l'\u00e9cole, je devais \u00e9tudier, faire mes devoirs, je pensais que les adultes allaient au travail et que c'\u00e9tait tout... Ce n'est que lorsque je suis devenu adulte que j'ai r\u00e9alis\u00e9 ce que cela signifiait d'\u00eatre un adulte et combien de responsabilit\u00e9s cela impliquait. Est-ce que le fait d'\u00eatre adulte aujourd'hui correspond \u00e0 ce que tu imaginais ?<\/strong> Pas du tout. Je pensais qu'\u00eatre adulte signifiait pouvoir faire ce que l'on voulait, quand on le voulait, donner des ordres et que tout le monde vous \u00e9coutait. Je croyais qu'un adulte gagnait de l'argent facilement, sans beaucoup de travail, et qu'il pouvait acheter tout ce qu'il voulait. Aujourd'hui, je me rends compte que ce n'est pas du tout ce que je pensais. Est-ce qu'\u00eatre adulte, c'est accepter la r\u00e9alit\u00e9 telle qu'elle est et arr\u00eater de r\u00eaver ?<\/strong> Non, m\u00eame si \u00eatre adulte implique de nombreuses responsabilit\u00e9s, il ne faut pas cesser de r\u00eaver. C'est la seule fa\u00e7on d'avancer dans la vie, de r\u00eaver et de travailler pour r\u00e9aliser ses r\u00eaves. Tes peurs, tes questions sur la vie ?<\/strong> Il est vrai que j'ai quelques craintes par rapport \u00e0 l'avenir. Les choses et la situation actuelle sont un peu incertaines et nous ne savons pas vraiment ce qui va se passer, mais nous devons \u00eatre confiants et faire tout ce que nous pouvons pour \u00eatre bons. As-tu le sentiment de pouvoir fa\u00e7onner ta vie comme tu l\u2019entends ?<\/strong> Oui, avec la certitude que je suis la seule \u00e0 pouvoir fa\u00e7onner ma vie, m\u00eame si cela d\u00e9pend parfois des situations et de l'environnement. Pour la sociologue Susan Nieman, devenir adulte, ce n'est pas avoir un travail, payer ses imp\u00f4ts et \u00e9pargner pour sa retraite, mais c'est faire l'exp\u00e9rience de l'\u00e9mancipation intellectuelle et cr\u00e9ative. Tu en penses quoi ? <\/strong>Oui, l'\u00e9mancipation intellectuelle est \u00e9galement importante, mais nous ne pouvons pas vivre sans stabilit\u00e9 et pour cela, nous devons travailler et payer pour certaines choses qui assurent notre avenir. \u00catre adulte, c'est \u00eatre s\u00e9rieux ?<\/strong> \u00catre adulte, c'est \u00eatre s\u00e9rieux dans ce que l'on fait, mais cela ne veut pas dire ne pas \u00eatre dr\u00f4le, ne pas rire et ne pas plaisanter. L'autod\u00e9rision est importante. Est-ce que c'est un truc d'adulte ?<\/strong> Je ne sais pas si c'est n\u00e9cessairement un truc d'adulte... il est tr\u00e8s important d'\u00eatre bien avec soi-m\u00eame et de s'accepter tel que l'on est, avec ses d\u00e9fauts et ses qualit\u00e9s. Une musique, un livre, un film \u00e0 partager qui  t\u2019a marqu\u00e9 jusqu'\u00e0 pr\u00e9sent ?<\/strong> Mon livre pr\u00e9f\u00e9r\u00e9 est La Dame aux cam\u00e9lias, <\/em>d\u2019Alexandre Dumas. Mon film favori ? The Blacklist<\/em>. La musique est mon premier amour... J'\u00e9coute presque tous les types de musique, cela d\u00e9pend de mon humeur. Une devise, une citation, un tatouage, quelque chose d'autre qui marque votre vie ?<\/strong> S'il m'arrive de baisser la t\u00eate, c'est pour admirer mes chaussures. Un conseil pour quelqu'un qui est angoiss\u00e9 par toutes ces questions de l\u2019\u00e2ge adulte ?<\/strong> Nous devons surmonter nos peurs, et nous sommes les seuls \u00e0 pouvoir y rem\u00e9dier. La vie est belle. Tu es heureuse ?<\/strong> Oui, mais pas \u00e0 100%, il me manque quelque chose dans ma vie, mais je vais r\u00e9aliser mon r\u00eave, c'est s\u00fbr.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

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\u00a0<\/strong> <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Where are you from ?<\/strong> I am from Croatia. How old are you ?<\/strong> I am 21. What do you do in life ? What are your plans ? <\/strong>\u00a0At the moment I'm trying to sort my life out, trying to find a job and live my life the best I can. Why (and when) did you leave home ? <\/strong>I left my home when I was 20 years old because I always knew that I won\u2019t be happy in Croatia. I wanted to leave my country since I was 16. Life in Croatia is miserable and you don\u2019t have many options and even if you do, I think that leaving your country is a good thing because you are becoming mind open and you are getting more self confident in many ways. Where is your home now ?<\/strong> I can\u2019t give you an answer where my home is because wherever I am, I never feel like I\u2019m home. Maybe I have that feeling while I\u2019m with my friends but they can\u2019t be my home because they will have their own family and home eventually. I'm still on my seeking- for-home journey. What is your relationship with your parents' house ?<\/strong> I'm at that house at the moment because I was forced to go back to Croatia, but I don\u2019t feel comfortable here. I just can\u2019t wait to leave this place because it just doesn\u2019t feel right. What does \"being an adult\" mean to you ?<\/strong> Being an adult means taking care of your responsibilities, making a career and going towards a good life. Trying to build a good life. Taking care of yourself in every possible way, just building and facing every challenge life is giving you. But most of the time your challenge is yourself which can be confusing and very difficult but whenever you are ready to confront yourself including your emotions and your actions, you are halfway there of being an adult. Do you feel like an adult ?<\/strong> I feel like an adult making some childish actions sometimes, I still didn\u2019t get enough life lessons but it\u2019s fine. I\u2019m still young. When did you first feel like an adult ?<\/strong> First time when I felt like an adult was when I did something for myself. I escaped from my routine life with a manipulative person and I stopped blaming myself for the past. Do you have confidence in yourself ?<\/strong> I have confidence in myself, but sometimes I just feel that I'm not good enough. Yeah, I went for that job interview but I won\u2019t get it. Yeah, I am with that guy, but he is just too good for me, it won\u2019t last. No, I am not self confident.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

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When is the moment when you feel fully accomplished ? <\/strong>I feel fully accomplished when I\u2019m around people that I love, when I am having a good time with them and when I can express my feelings towards them. When I lay in my bed at the end of the day and I know I have someone by my side no matter what. It is not about material, It\u2019s about real people. \u00a0In your country, is there pressure from society to be a successful adult after a certain age ? <\/strong>Of course there is. You have to be a successful adult from the very first moment you take your first breath, you already have to be successful. Have you ever gone on a trip alone for more than three months ? <\/strong>I never did and I never thought about it. Probably I would, just for the experience and just to prove myself what I\u2019m capable of. Do you feel you have matured to live by yourself away from your home, with a new language?<\/strong> Definitely did and I can\u2019t wait to continue my journey. At what age did you leave on your own for the first time ? How was this departure ? <\/strong>I left and lived on my own at the age of 21. It wasn\u2019t a good experience because I wasn\u2019t used to living alone, but now I miss it. Did traveling to another country, to new cities, help you grow up? <\/strong>It did. Why have you never gone on a trip ?<\/strong> Well, I went for a trip. For you, age is an important element to feel like an adult? <\/strong>Not at all. I don\u2019t want to put pressure on myself. Why would I? I\u2019m growing everyday anyway. It\u2019s the way I am. I can\u2019t change overnight. It takes loads of time. You can\u2019t become an adult just like that. For you, does the fact that you are a woman change the situation ? <\/strong>It depends on what situation. I mean, of course, if I want to drive a truck a man has advantage or if I am in the club I have advantage of getting free drinks. But it doesn\u2019t change my life. If I want something, I know I can get it no matter if I am a woman, man or it. Do you have a story - funny or not - to share about a situation where you said to yourself \"Oh shit, that's an adult thing I haven\u2019t done before\" ? <\/strong>Yeah, my ex was fucking gay and I knew it deeply inside me but I was denying it for a long time and than one day I just left, in another country, without anyone around me, keeping everything as the biggest secret because I was ashamed and afraid what everyone else is going to say but than I realised it\u2019s not my fault. It\u2019s not me who should be ashamed, it\u2019s him. Then I was laughing about that with my fringe, family and strangers, because why not. <\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

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Don't you feel that being in your twenties is pretty hard to live in our society? You have to be beautiful, know what you want to do with your life, then find a great job, a great guy, a great girl, be surrounded by people you love, have a great apartment, get married and start a family? Is this what becoming an adult is all about ? How do you feel now ? <\/strong>No, I don\u2019t care about everyone else, as long as I have enough money to go for a drinks with my friends or just go on unplanned trip I feel great, even if that\u2019s not how an adult should be thinking. But you only live once, why not to do that. I\u2019ll worry about my job, house and family when I will be matured enough. BUT IM NOT GETTING MARRIED, no matter what society thinks about that or even my mom. She got divorced, she has nothing to say about it. Was it easy for you to become an adult ? <\/strong>Oh my God, if I knew it was that hard I would send some signs to my mom to swallow me before I was made. But nevermind, I\u2019m here now. Can you say \"no\" without difficulties? <\/strong>That is even harder than becoming an adult. If it\u2019s someone that I care about, it is very difficult, but if it\u2019s someone who annoys me, no problemo amigo<\/em>.Are you independent, do you always need help ? <\/strong>Loving myself and trusting others. Thanks everyone for giving me the issues. When you're young, you want to be an adult. Do you remember what attracted you to being a \"grown-up\" ? <\/strong>Having my own house, driving a car, traveling with friends without calling my mom at 11pm. if I\u2019m coming\u00a0 home. Is being an adult today what you imagined it to be ? <\/strong>Well, I had a similar idea. I didn\u2019t think it\u2019s that hard but I knew it\u2019s not easy. Is being an adult about accepting reality as it is, and stop dreaming ? <\/strong>No. Don\u2019t think you will become a millionaire overnight and live luxury life with no hard work (the chance is really small but possible), keep dreaming, you won\u2019t make everything happen, but most of the things it\u2019s possible. Do you feel like you can shape your life the way you want ? <\/strong>I don\u2019t feel, I know I can. For sociologist Susan Nieman, becoming an adult is not about having a job, paying your taxes and saving for your retirement, but about experiencing intellectual and creative emancipation. What do you think about that ? <\/strong>She has the point. But you still have to live somewhere and work so you can pay those taxes. Being an adult is being serious ? <\/strong>Don\u2019t be serious because you will ruin your life. Be serious only when it\u2019s necessary, occasionally. Self-mockery is important. Is it an adult thing ? <\/strong>Sometimes it\u2019s necessary so you can get mad at yourself and \u201cbouge ton cul\u201d. Great music, great book, great movie to share that has marked you so far ? <\/strong>The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck<\/em>, book written by Mark Manson. Anything else that Signifies\/reflects your life? <\/strong>Everything happens for a reason. Any advice for someone who is anxious with all these adult questions ? <\/strong>Don\u2019t be anxious, don\u2019t bother yourself with anxiety, that is not going to help. Just get back on your feet, make priorities and start sorting your life slowly but patiently . Are you happy ? <\/strong>I could be happier but I won\u2019t complain.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","_en_post_name":"","_en_post_excerpt":"","_en_post_title":"JELENA","edit_language":"en","footnotes":""},"categories":[71],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1207","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-rencontres"],"yoast_head":"\nRAHELA - GRANDIS UN PEU<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/grandisunpeu.fr\/2023\/05\/18\/rahela\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"RAHELA - GRANDIS UN PEU\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"D’o\u00f9 tu viens ?Je viens de Roumanie. La Roumanie est un pays magnifique, situ\u00e9 au sud-est de l’Europe centrale, au nord de la p\u00e9ninsule balkanique et sur la rive nord-ouest de la mer Noire. 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