Where are you from ? Ireland. How old are you ? I’m 23 years old. What do you do in your life ? Any plans ? Currently I am studying for my return to college, I plan to finish my course in engineering. Why did you leave home ? I left home for the first time when I attended my first year of college in the years 2019 – 2020, living with my friend in an apartment in central Galway city, Ireland. I then left for a second time shortly after that working in Clifden for about a 10 month period where I Received staff accommodation. I then left home again shortly after the passing of my father to work and gain enough money to be able to return back to college and continue my education. I worked in a hotel called Ballynahinch Castle where I worked as a waiter/barman. Where is your home now ? My home now is in Cleggan Co. Galway it’s a small fishing village in the very west of Ireland. What is/was your relationship with your parents’ house ? I have always had a deep connection to my parents house. Perhaps it’s the fact my father built the house with a lot of help of course. He constructed the house when he was starting his family. There is something quite symbolic about that. It’s a place of solitude and comfort to me. What does “being an adult” mean to you ? I believe being an adult means a lot of different things to a lot of different people, some believe success in your career or to another its being emotionally and spiritually mature and to some it’s simply passing the age of 18. However I believe an adult is somebody who can be relied upon, is emotionally connected to the ones they love and the people around them and who contributes to their society. Do you feel like an adult ? Yes, I do feel like an adult. I feel responsibility for my actions and for the people I care for. When did you first feel like an adult ? I suppose I first felt like an adult when my father first was diagnosed with cancer, we had a lengthy discussion on how I would have to look after my sisters and my mother and be there for them when they needed me. I took on this tremendous sense of responsibility for them and that’s when I suppose it snapped in my head. This is what it means to be a man a, an adult. Do you have confidence in yourself ? Yes I do. When was/is the moment when you feel fully accomplished ? I don’t feel fully accomplished [smile] ! In Ireland, is there pressure from society to be a successful adult after a certain age ? Yeah. I do believe so. Hence why so many young Irish people, Including some of my closest friends, emigrate to Australia. They can work in a vast job market for a handsome wage and pursue their dreams. Have you ever gone on a trip alone for more than three months ? No I have never. Would I want to? Absolutely. Although not at this point in my life. I first need to finish my studies. I also feel like I would have to get more used to traveling first before I do it alone. Having said that, there is something attractive about just going to another country by yourself and experiencing the county how you want to. Do you feel you have matured after leaving your country to live by yourself away from your home, with a new language ? I’ve never experienced it, so I could not say.
At what age did you leave on your own for the first time ? How was this departure ? I suppose it would have been the age of 18 just after finishing High school. I worked a in a hotel that provide staff accommodation. I lived in a house with two other workers. The departure was not difficult for me, I quickly made friends which helped me a lot. Did traveling to another country, to new cities, help you grow up ? Oh yes for sure. Why have you never gone on a trip? I suppose it’s fear of the unknown. For you, age is an important element to feel like an adult ? No, I have met plenty of people who are much older than me and far less responsible and put together than myself and i have also met plenty people who are younger than me who or my age who have started families and businesses of their own. For you, does the fact that you are a man or a woman change the situation ? No, I don’t think so. Do you have a story to share about a situation where you said to yourself “Oh shit, that’s an adult thing I haven’t done before !” ? I have too many stories to add. Here is a good one. In Clifden, the town closest to my village, if you need any kind of building materials you must go to the supply center. This is essentially a large warehouse full of bored middle aged men who know a lot about the different trades, have been construction workers, plumbers, wielders, etc.. all their lives, So when you walk in there there is an aura of manliness, So it was my first time ordering in there. I had revised the order in my head, I made my way to the counter and the man behind the counter just stared at me. No hello no nothing. So I recant my order and tell him to put it on my fathers account. “Okay” he replies, and that was it! I remember walking out thinking: “wow i just did a really adult thing just there”. Don’t you feel that being in your twenties is pretty hard to live in our society ? You have to be beautiful, know what you want to do with your life, then find a great job, a great guy, a great girl, be surrounded by people you love, have a great apartment, get married and start a family ? Is this what becoming an adult is all about ? How do you feel now ? Yes I do feel this way, there’s definitely a pressure felt. I believe social media is a huge factor in this. We see attractive, young, successful people and we can’t help but compare their lives to our own and this is very harmful to the psyche. I think it is very important to always remember that these photos are always doctored and the people in these photos’ lives are not as interesting as it would seem. Was it easy for you to become an adult ? In some ways yes and no. I have experienced some amazing moments and some horrific moments. I believe they have all shaped me for the better no matter how bad or good they were. Can you say “no” without difficulty ? No not really and especially in a professional setting. Are you independent, do you always need help ? I suppose scheduling my day a bit better…
When you’re young, you want to be an adult. Do you remember what attracted you to being a “grown-up” ? I remember being younger, say 11 years old and wishing and wishing to be 18 to look and sound and act like an adult but when you get to those ages you realise, wow it’s not that great to be this age. Is being an adult today what you imagined it to be ? Not at all [smile] But I don’t think it’s what anyone imagines it to be. Is being an adult about accepting reality as it is, and stop dreaming ? Not at all. I think if you have a dream it is of utmost importance to fulfill it because so many people have the opportunities to do so. Your fears, your questions about life ? Serious fear of open water. Do you feel like you can shape your life the way you want ? Yes I 100% believe in this statement, I believe you can do anything you put your mind to. For sociologist Susan Nieman, becoming an adult is not about having a job, paying your taxes and saving for your retirement, but about experiencing intellectual and creative emancipation. What do you think about that ? I would agree, I believe knowledge, the ability to express it in a meaningful way and an appreciation for Art and culture is far more important than doing the more, quite frankly, mundane things in life. I do still believe these things are important in becoming an adult though. Being an adult is being serious ? No, not necessarily. But I think being serious in the right situations is an adult thing. Self-mockery is important. Is it an adult thing ? Yeah I believe for a person to look at themselves as a whole and self reflect and find humor in that and not find embarrassment in themselves is an adult thing yes. Great music, great book, great movie to share that has marked you so far ? Great song ? About a girl, from Nirvana. Great movie ? No country for old men, from Cohen’s brothers. A motto, a quote, a tattoo, anything else that marks your life ? I have a tattoo in Czech that reads: ‘Don’t die for nothing’. I had it done on holidays to the Czech Republic. There was a monument in the middle of Prague old town square commemorating Jan Hus, a philosopher and theologian who led a reformation in the 14th and 15th century in the Czech Republic. The text was actually longer and read: ‘be alive, o nation consecrated in god, Don’t die for nothing’. I feel the first part was applicable to me so I just took the end. I really liked it so I got it tattooed on me in Prague. [smile] Any advice for someone who is anxious with all these adult questions ? You still have time, not everyone will be accomplished as others. It doesn’t make you any less valid. Are you happy ? Yes [smile]
