Where are you from ? I am from Croatia. How old are you ? I am 21. What do you do in life ? What are your plans ? At the moment I’m trying to sort my life out, trying to find a job and live my life the best I can. Why (and when) did you leave home ? I left my home when I was 20 years old because I always knew that I won’t be happy in Croatia. I wanted to leave my country since I was 16. Life in Croatia is miserable and you don’t have many options and even if you do, I think that leaving your country is a good thing because you are becoming mind open and you are getting more self confident in many ways. Where is your home now ? I can’t give you an answer where my home is because wherever I am, I never feel like I’m home. Maybe I have that feeling while I’m with my friends but they can’t be my home because they will have their own family and home eventually. I’m still on my seeking- for-home journey. What is your relationship with your parents’ house ? I’m at that house at the moment because I was forced to go back to Croatia, but I don’t feel comfortable here. I just can’t wait to leave this place because it just doesn’t feel right. What does “being an adult” mean to you ? Being an adult means taking care of your responsibilities, making a career and going towards a good life. Trying to build a good life. Taking care of yourself in every possible way, just building and facing every challenge life is giving you. But most of the time your challenge is yourself which can be confusing and very difficult but whenever you are ready to confront yourself including your emotions and your actions, you are halfway there of being an adult. Do you feel like an adult ? I feel like an adult making some childish actions sometimes, I still didn’t get enough life lessons but it’s fine. I’m still young. When did you first feel like an adult ? First time when I felt like an adult was when I did something for myself. I escaped from my routine life with a manipulative person and I stopped blaming myself for the past. Do you have confidence in yourself ? I have confidence in myself, but sometimes I just feel that I’m not good enough. Yeah, I went for that job interview but I won’t get it. Yeah, I am with that guy, but he is just too good for me, it won’t last. No, I am not self confident.
When is the moment when you feel fully accomplished ? I feel fully accomplished when I’m around people that I love, when I am having a good time with them and when I can express my feelings towards them. When I lay in my bed at the end of the day and I know I have someone by my side no matter what. It is not about material, It’s about real people. In your country, is there pressure from society to be a successful adult after a certain age ? Of course there is. You have to be a successful adult from the very first moment you take your first breath, you already have to be successful. Have you ever gone on a trip alone for more than three months ? I never did and I never thought about it. Probably I would, just for the experience and just to prove myself what I’m capable of. Do you feel you have matured to live by yourself away from your home, with a new language? Definitely did and I can’t wait to continue my journey. At what age did you leave on your own for the first time ? How was this departure ? I left and lived on my own at the age of 21. It wasn’t a good experience because I wasn’t used to living alone, but now I miss it. Did traveling to another country, to new cities, help you grow up? It did. Why have you never gone on a trip ? Well, I went for a trip. For you, age is an important element to feel like an adult? Not at all. I don’t want to put pressure on myself. Why would I? I’m growing everyday anyway. It’s the way I am. I can’t change overnight. It takes loads of time. You can’t become an adult just like that. For you, does the fact that you are a woman change the situation ? It depends on what situation. I mean, of course, if I want to drive a truck a man has advantage or if I am in the club I have advantage of getting free drinks. But it doesn’t change my life. If I want something, I know I can get it no matter if I am a woman, man or it. Do you have a story – funny or not – to share about a situation where you said to yourself “Oh shit, that’s an adult thing I haven’t done before” ? Yeah, my ex was fucking gay and I knew it deeply inside me but I was denying it for a long time and than one day I just left, in another country, without anyone around me, keeping everything as the biggest secret because I was ashamed and afraid what everyone else is going to say but than I realised it’s not my fault. It’s not me who should be ashamed, it’s him. Then I was laughing about that with my fringe, family and strangers, because why not.
Don’t you feel that being in your twenties is pretty hard to live in our society? You have to be beautiful, know what you want to do with your life, then find a great job, a great guy, a great girl, be surrounded by people you love, have a great apartment, get married and start a family? Is this what becoming an adult is all about ? How do you feel now ? No, I don’t care about everyone else, as long as I have enough money to go for a drinks with my friends or just go on unplanned trip I feel great, even if that’s not how an adult should be thinking. But you only live once, why not to do that. I’ll worry about my job, house and family when I will be matured enough. BUT IM NOT GETTING MARRIED, no matter what society thinks about that or even my mom. She got divorced, she has nothing to say about it. Was it easy for you to become an adult ? Oh my God, if I knew it was that hard I would send some signs to my mom to swallow me before I was made. But nevermind, I’m here now. Can you say “no” without difficulties? That is even harder than becoming an adult. If it’s someone that I care about, it is very difficult, but if it’s someone who annoys me, no problemo amigo.Are you independent, do you always need help ? Loving myself and trusting others. Thanks everyone for giving me the issues. When you’re young, you want to be an adult. Do you remember what attracted you to being a “grown-up” ? Having my own house, driving a car, traveling with friends without calling my mom at 11pm. if I’m coming home. Is being an adult today what you imagined it to be ? Well, I had a similar idea. I didn’t think it’s that hard but I knew it’s not easy. Is being an adult about accepting reality as it is, and stop dreaming ? No. Don’t think you will become a millionaire overnight and live luxury life with no hard work (the chance is really small but possible), keep dreaming, you won’t make everything happen, but most of the things it’s possible. Do you feel like you can shape your life the way you want ? I don’t feel, I know I can. For sociologist Susan Nieman, becoming an adult is not about having a job, paying your taxes and saving for your retirement, but about experiencing intellectual and creative emancipation. What do you think about that ? She has the point. But you still have to live somewhere and work so you can pay those taxes. Being an adult is being serious ? Don’t be serious because you will ruin your life. Be serious only when it’s necessary, occasionally. Self-mockery is important. Is it an adult thing ? Sometimes it’s necessary so you can get mad at yourself and “bouge ton cul”. Great music, great book, great movie to share that has marked you so far ? The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck, book written by Mark Manson. Anything else that Signifies/reflects your life? Everything happens for a reason. Any advice for someone who is anxious with all these adult questions ? Don’t be anxious, don’t bother yourself with anxiety, that is not going to help. Just get back on your feet, make priorities and start sorting your life slowly but patiently . Are you happy ? I could be happier but I won’t complain.
